There is overwhelming evidence suggesting that if you incubate three dozen worms in a solution of amino acids and carbon compounds for approximately one and a half million years they will eventually evolve into the Long Island Railroad. The only problem with this theory is that if this were true some species of fish would [...]
They say that living to a ripe old age is a blessing. But when you do it while standing on line at the DMV, you begin to see things from an entirely different perspective. Suddenly, the expression “something to look forward to” can mean something as mundane as seeing a DMV employee get back from [...]
Many lucky relationships take off like a rocket and, in spite of occasional ups and downs, last a lifetime. However, a great number of relationships don’t fare so well. Why? What makes two people incompatible? How do you recognize the elements of incompatibility? And how do you avoid getting entangled in a no-win situation? These [...]
How To Shower Like a Woman:Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, [...]
A formal date can mean different things to different people – a night out on the town, a Broadway play, a lavish meal, an intellectually stimulating encounter. Sometimes a date can mean nothing more than just getting out of the house. However, not observing proper etiquette can turn the courting process into something it should [...]
We met at a party in an Upper East Side apartment. I was eating cheese, she was eating crackers. I offered her some of my cheese, she offered me some of her crackers, and pretty soon we were both eating cheese and crackers. I gave her that stupid line “Do you come here often?” She [...]
The time you spend at an airport can cut days off your vacation. This is the time of year when many people interrupt their busy lives to get away from it all. Some call it a vacation. Others call it “ten days at the airport.” The airlines don’t care what you call it as long [...]
Since the beginning of time, man has been dreaming of flying. On December 17, 1903, Orville Wright turned that dream into a reality when he flew a plane 120 feet in 12 seconds. Today, with jets cruising at speeds of Mach 0.8 (Mach 1 is the speed of sound), man sits in airport terminal buildings [...]
We often hear of relationships which start out bad but straighten out in the end. We even hear of relationships which start out good but then turn sour. But when a relationship starts off with all the romantic overtones of a documentary on the Asian flu, develops with the smoothness of an intoxicated chimpanzee doing [...]